There are three institutions established by God; Marriage, Government and Church. It is the marriage institution that will determine whether the Church and government would work well or not. A good marriage together will make a good Church, a good community of people and government. The family is the unit of all communities and that is the reason why all pastors and leaders in every department of human government must take a special interest in the wellness of the family.
They are to guide intending couples to a successful marriage and intercede for them in prayers. These are the things we must look for in the life of any committee member. The person:
- Must be born again
- He must be of the honest report that he or she must be a person of integrity
- Full of Holy Ghost
- Full of wisdom
- Be a person of faith and be truthful
- Be passionate about the assignment
- Be prayerful
- Patient
- His or her marriage must be without blemish
- His or her children must show Christian conduct and must have good
- Good testimonies from neighbours. It is a misconception to think that love is blind.
True love is not blind at all. The physical and (inner) eyes must be wide open in order to ensure lifelong compatibilities. While it must be noted that there is no perfect marriage a good marriage should be seen as the union of two matured people who have agreed to make it work and in order to minimize areas of frictions the under-listed must be considered in getting married to any individual.
- Background – i.e. the pedigree, family history
2. Educational status – No professor will go and marry a primary six holder in the name of love. There would be a communication gap and the two of them would not be able to relate well at home
- Economic statusNo average lady would like to marry a wretched man who would not be able to take good care of her and provide her with the three basic needs of life; food, clothing and shelter.
- Social status
- Religious status/ belief. If a child of God goes ahead to marry an idol worshipper, then satan will be his in-law. The devil will come to visit them with his gifts such as sickness, confusion, strife etc
- Physical status/Health. Nobody wants to marry a liability. It is not out of love to confirm your genotype before you engage in any relationship.
- Psychological compatibility. You need to study the person you intend to marry whether the person is sanguine— cheerful/hopeful; melancholic, cocky, feeling sad; phlegmatic-calm, not
easily excited or worried; choleric, bad-tempered, always angry - Environmental or climatic adaptability.
- Tribal lineage Nobody is infallible. Offences must surely come. The ability of the couple to resolve their differences is a mark of their maturity. By the grace of God, I had never raised my hand against my wife and we are just 38 years in our marriage. It is not that we do not offend ourselves but the anti-dote to a peaceful matrimonial bliss as given by our father-in-the-Lord.
A. Approach God and tell Him what the problems are.
B. Bravely tackle the problems with God’s help
C. Create a conducive atmosphere to solve the problem.
D. Do not defend yourself or else the problem will escalate
E. Examine your attitude and your reaction
F. Face the problem with reality and be ready to apologize
G. Give yourself to God and ask for divine intervention.
H. Handle the problem with care and disallow hostility and bitterness
I. Identify the root of the problem.
J. Jealousy is dangerous so you must never allow it.
K. Knee down and pray together after resolving your conflict to prevent re-occurrence.
L. Learn from the problem you have passed through, only fools repeat problems.
M. Meditate on the positive quality of your partners and not on the weakness.
N. Neglect not your family altar
O. Open up to each other so that you can defeat the enemy.
P. Prayer, patience and perseverance will always overcome problems
Q. Quietness is a quality you must imbibe. Too much talking will create problems.
R. Recognize that satan is interested in destroying the home.
S. Study the promises of God and use them to get a permanent solution.
T. Trust in the Lord and go to Him for help
U. Understand your partner and always be positive.
V. Vacating your room because of problems gives the room to satanic invasion.
W. Worry and anxiety will not bring a solution.
X. X-ray any in-road the enemy has made into the family so that you can deal with it.
Y. Yesterday’s problems will not be destroyed when we allow it to infiltrate into today.
Z. Zealously bring your tongue, your thoughts and your actions under the control of the Holy Spirit.
– S PST. OLU LADE OMONIYI