As I was praying to the Lord for what He would want me write in this column for this edition, I got inspired to deal with the issue of parents who are over-protective of their children. While I pondered on it, I realised that it’s not actually a new phenomenon. It has been from time immemorial. As I cast my mind back, I remembered that yours truly was actually a victim. A child with this problem never realises it until that day arrives when he must leave home and go to school somewhere else. This is when the victim (child) and the culprits (parents) begin to grapple with the avoidable situation of insecurity and inadequacy that they all find themselves. As I worked on this article, I discovered that there’s actually a name for such parents; they are called, “Helicopter Parents.” Helicopter parenting refers to a style of parenting where parents excessively monitor and control every aspect of their child’s life, often with the best intentions of ensuring their safety and success. They are called Helicopter parents because, like helicopters, they “hover overhead”, overseeing every aspect of their child’s life. While caring for your child is essential, hovering too closely can have detrimental effects on the child’s development. Let’s delve straight into the dangers of this parenting style:
- IT HINDERS INDEPENDENCE: Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. While guiding our children is crucial, hovering too closely can hinder their independence. Children need room to make choices and learn from them. Overprotective parenting can rob them of the opportunities to develop self-sufficiency and the ability to make decisions. These are very important
personal development skills.
2. LACK OF RESILIENCE: Romans 5:3-4 says, “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope.” Helicopter parents often prevent their children from facing challenges and adversity. However, these experiences are essential for building resilience and character. Shielding children from all difficulties denies them the opportunity to grow stronger through trials.
- ANXIETY AND FEAR: In Matthew 6:27, Jesus reminds us, “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?” Helicopter parenting can cause anxiety and fear in children. The constant monitoring and pressure to perform can create stress and a fear of failure. Children need the space to explore, make mistakes, and build self-confidence.
GODLY - STRAINED PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS: Colossians 3:21 warns, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Helicopter parenting can lead to strained relationships with
our children. When they feel suffocated or unable to express their true selves, all kinds of conflicts can arise. It is essential to build a trusting environment where children feel supported rather than controlled.
5. MISSED OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH: Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Helicopter parents often miss the chance to witness their children’s growth and development. Children need the space to explore their interests, set their own goals, and learn from their own experiences. Overprotectiveness can prevent them from reaching their full potential.
6. INADEQUATE PREPARATION FOR ADULTHOOD: 1 Corinthians 13:11 says, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Helicopter parenting can make it challenging for children to transition into adulthood. They may struggle with basic life skills, decision-making, and accepting responsibility. Learning to handle life’s challenges and consequences is a vital aspect of growing into a responsible adult. Helicopter parenting, though well-intentioned, can have significant negative effects on a child’s development. Finding the right balance between guidance and independence is crucial for a child’s well-being. As parents, it is essential to let go when necessary, allowing our children to learn, grow, and face the world with confidence. This is a clarion call to all parents and guardians who are guilty of this to repent from being helicopter parents. God bless you, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Pastor (Mrs) Amaka Ojugbana
Regional Overseer, Tracts and Publications